As a fork in the road sprung a leak in my life a few months ago, it left me reevaluating things and thinking what is important to me? Of course, there is family—this includes my pack of animals—and friends at the top of the list. I would have to say that creating peace, love, and compassion in my heart comes next. If I cannot bring these to my heart, how can I for someone else? I would also have to gain wisdom and the courage to apply these things into my life.

That being said, two things come to mind. First, two faults that I have at the moment are procrastination and lack of motivation. Two qualities that make it very difficult to get things done. This is weird considering my background as a Marine. If anyone knows a Marine you know they lead a disciplined life. At least I know I did when I was on active duty and up unto my depression. My best bet is to get back to a routine every day to try to develop consistency. However, it seems the harder I try the harder it is to do. MEF is telling me otherwise. What is MEF you may ask? Well that is the little voice in the back of my mind saying all the negative things that hold me back; MEF—My Evil Friend. I borrowed that from Ed in the book The Buddha, Geoff, and Me.

Second, I am looking for an anchor. In my past, as I have said before I have been a disciplined human being, however, since my recent recovery from depression, anxiety, and a failed relationship I feel I am in a tailspin, out of control, out of focus, and lacking motivation. I need something to put my life back together and to have meaning.

I never was a believer in GOD this is why I turn to Buddhism. The Christian traditions did not have anything for me. I have done research—as you know from my previous posts concerning My Journey in life—and I am looking to get involved but have no idea which tradition of Buddhism. My only insight is my own research online and reading books. There are not a whole lot of resources where I live. It frustrates me that there are so many different traditions, which one do I follow? In my research, I have found Jodo-Shin, Vipassana, Kagyu Tibetan, Zen, Bon Tibetan, Soka Gakkai, Vajrayana, Mahayana, Pure Land, Theravada, and Nichiren. I am sure there is more but these are just to mention a few. I read about or come across a new tradition daily. Each tradition has its minute differences but all have the same basic beliefs. Maybe I will see what I can find around my city and start there.

If anyone has insight on any of these traditions or others, I would be gladly appreciative if you shared your knowledge and experiences.

My next step is to learn meditation. I have meditated for about a week and it looks promising. I still have a lot to learn.

Life is not going to stop still while I recover; I have to keep going…LIFE GOES ON! I am excited to see what is around the next corner or fork in the road.


35 thoughts on “LIFE GOES ON

  1. TamrahJo

    For me, the end of debilitating depression was when I gave in and sat still, listening to what it had to say -instead of racing trying to avoid it and pretend it wasn’t there – – may or may not work for you – for some, sinking into it is their Waterloo – – but, once I learned to listen and honor it – I found it was often linked to my desire to do something about things I really couldn’t do anything about and that if I acknowledged that, then I could move on and focus on the things I could do something with/about – –

    I have studied a variety of traditions from a variety of perspectives in my spiritual journey – I suggest finding small things that are easily incorporated into everyday life – from a variety of traditions, simply because you will find what works for you – and small, quick, easy to do = sustainable even on those days when all you want to do is stay in bed all day!

    – my favorites are:

    Walking Meditation – this is simply being totally immersed in all the sensations of whatever you’re currently doing – it means feeling the warm, sudsy soap and the squeaky clean dish as you clean the kitchen, NOT thinking about the thousand and one things you should do as soon as the kitchen is clean….LOL

    The Shi-Shi-Hu breath – – two inhales in – to the sound of ‘shi-shi’ – one exhale with a ‘hu’ – – done slow and steady, gathers energy to the core – done fast, expels all that one doesn’t need and leaves peace it it’s wake – I like to do this for a few seconds throughout the day – helps to center and focus me – – -along with the visualization of light and energy coming in and dark/heavy being expelled – –

    Wishing you the best and remember, what is often labeled ‘depression”, “procrasination” or “chaos” is often just the space in which we are changing much as the catepillar changes into a butterfly – – in the physical world, few things reach their next stage of growth or are born anew amidst a well ordered and perfectly running back ground – there is an upsurge, a chaos, contractions and retractions as the new thing being born is created from the chaos of the old which has reached is limit and must rearrange to become something new – –

    Hoping you find the space in which to observe the next wonderful incarnation you are in the process of becoming –

    1. Frank

      I will explore these suggestions more. Thank you for your advice.

      1. TamrahJo

        Okay – one of my resolutions is to quit giving unsolicited advice – just double-checking, you did ask, right? LOL

      2. TamrahJo

        and what should I run across during my catching up reading but this and so timely, will share :

        1. Frank

          Yes, I did ask for advice. And yes when the time is right change will happen. Thanks again for the advice and the link.

          1. TamrahJo

            Best wishes in your journey this coming year – can’t wait to hear about it

  2. Life goes on...

    […] LIFE GOES ON Let’s Be Frank  -As a fork in the road sprung a leak in my life a few months ago it left me reevaluating things and thinking what is important to me Of course there is family this includes my pack of animals and friends at the top of the list.… […]

  3. Indira

    I loved your honesty in your post. When I was depressed I read so many books. Osho, Paolo Coelho , Robin sharma, Deepak Chopra and many more. The best I liked Brian Tracy’s ‘Maximum Achievment’. Going for many traditions confuses. You can see this link-

    1. Frank

      Thanks for your comments and the link, Indira.

  4. babso2you

    A touching post Frank! I wish I knew how to overcome procrastination! 🙂 You asked about all these different faiths…I thought that I would share with you my experience.

    I was born into the Jewish faith. The fear of God was drilled into us. I was told many times that if I entered a Christian church that God would strike me down with a bolt of lightning. He would strike me down for doing a number of things actually. I could not understand why God would create me only to do this to me. This did not feel right at all.

    After leaving home I looked into a number of other faiths and discovered, like you, that they all say basically the same thing each in a different way. The tenets are the same. After studying so many different writings I took from each of them what rang true in my heart. This is my faith. This is what I believe.

    As for life going on…it always does! As you wander around each corner, opportunities are everywhere! You just have to recognize them…meditation will help you with this!

    Thank you Frank for your service! And, thank you for signing up to follow my blog! I hope that you will enjoy my posts! ^..^

    1. Frank

      Thank you for your comments. This New Year will bring some changes for me and one thing is to follow what is true to my heart. I hope your Holidays were great and the New Year brings you peace, love, and happiness.

      1. babso2you

        Back at you Frank! Touching words!

  5. Theresa

    Frank: All will be well; you are where you are supposed to be right now. Rather than going around something, it is often best to go through it. Sit with it and it will be shone to you. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. It’s good to see you back. My blessings on this part of your journey…

    1. Frank

      Thank you for the comment and kind words of wisdom, Theresa.
      Happy Holidays and Peace

  6. Ralph

    Hi Frank 😀 I could have written this post almost word for word almost 30 years ago. Military, out into civilian life, marriage dissolved, etc. I came to realise for me that I had been pretty much cared for all my life, boarding school, army and my sanity only returned when I was contracting in the Middle East…..cared for again !! Over time I have learned to live on my own but with friends always at hand. That works for me.
    A bit of advice. Don’t try to force a recovery. I went that route and almost committed suicide at an extremely lowest point of my life. A circle of close friends is the answer I reckon. (I wish there were blogs around when I went through it !!) Take care. Ralph 😀

    1. Frank

      Hi Ralph. Thanks for the advice. It does always help to have close friends.

      1. Ralph

        It surely does 😀

  7. Ajaytao2010

    I Nominate you for A Christmas Bouquet – Awards – Ajaytao – 48 Nominations
    please choose any 4 awards out of the 48
    accept it and oblige

    there are no linkbacks for this award


    Listen to your own heart, do what feels right and makes sense to you. Taking time for yourself through meditation will help you find your path. Wishing you a safe journey, A.

    1. Frank

      Thanks for the words of wisdom.

  9. erikafuego

    love this

    1. Frank

      Thank you for the comment and the follow. I hope you enjoy your time in my world.

  10. David Kanigan

    Keep plugging away Frank. The path will become clear.

    1. Frank

      Thank you for your comment.

  11. thoughtsalone

    To pull yourself out is key. Buddhism is a religion like any other. Whatever dogma is followed, the personal path is what makes the difference. I say that as prep. When you, as a former active Marine said ‘MEF’, I immediately thought MEF as in Marine Expeditionary Force. They’re big, they’re sluggish at times, but they’re also self sufficient. (Ok and maybe they’re a little evil, but mostly they’re good. Lol) So are you. I can’t help you pick a religion, but I have faith your journey will lead you to your own unique way home. Maybe you could start by rethinking the MEF inside from something bad to something good. Peace. (Sorry, what do you expect from an Army guy, joint service officer?) 😉

    1. Frank

      Very helpful information. Sometimes the struggle to pull myself out of it seems overwhelming but with my newly found tools will help me along the way. Thanks, Army Guy. Semper Fi !

      1. thoughtsalone

        Hooah! …that’s Ranger for ‘Oorah’ ; )

  12. sakuraandme

    Morning Frank! 🙂

    Good attitude because life does go on and if we don’t go with it? We drown in our own negative thoughts. We are much more than people that have suffered Depression. You sound wonderful and an Ex- marine? When you get the meditation down pat? That internal drive will slowly come back. I too meditate when my world spins out of control. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Loved your post, hugs from Oz, Paula xx

    1. Frank

      Thanks for the support and kind words, Paula.

  13. meticulousmick

    Good luck with it all Frank. I would not get too worried with the small differences but try what is easy to attend, only you will know which is right for you and that is probably by going. Following the loss of my sister I did a number of workshops and meditation and other such practises all helped in a way that for me the traditional church would not have done. Trust your instincts Frank and good luck. MM 🍀

    1. Frank

      Thank you, MM.

  14. risinghawk

    I know the feelings and the “tailspin” of which you have written – the depression and anxiety – and wanting a structured path as a cornerstone but not being certain where it is. I don’t have any clear answers for you, but know that I stand with you in hope. Peace . . .

    1. Frank

      Thank you for you words and support.

  15. Professor VJ Duke

    Great to hear from you, Frank.

    1. Frank

      Thanks, Professor.

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